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I wasn't sure if we would see this at the cinema or wait until it came out on DVD (thus avoiding the need for a babysitter), so I have paid absolutely no attention to the build-up for this film. I knew nothing of the plot and precious little about which characters were appearing (I'd heard Arcee would be in it this time and I knew Welker was going to be Soundwave, but that was about it). In retrospect, this was a mistake since I had absolutely no idea who half the Transformers were meant to be. I mean, seriously, it was good to see lots of robots, but most of them seemed to be generic dialogue--and possibly a namecheck, but I seemed to miss half of them. This actually applied to the whole military side of the good guys--the returning cast from the first one, robot and human, really got short-changed. I could give the Decepticon army a pass since they were largely red-shirts, but the introductory stuff, such as it was, was a chaotic mess.

I knew there would be too many fight sequences because it was Michael Bay, and I do blame him for the confusing camera-work (hell, even Sam and Mikaela love-scenes can make you motion-sick). However, this time I'm blaming the writers for the OTT joke sequences. I know a lot of the success of the last film was based on the humour, but they really overdid it this time. This was not a film about college hi-jinks. We didn't need an extended The Witwickies Drop Sam off at University slapstick sequence. Just introducing him to Leo would have been enough--hell, I'd have cut that from the film along with all the rest of Leo's stuff. To be fair, I thought the actor playing Leo did a good job, but we had far too much comic relief this time around. This was sharply illustrated when we had four comic relief characters (Leo, Agent Simmons and the Twins) battling Devastator. Seriously? That's all they had available for Devastator's big reveal? Gah. They should have saved him for the next movie. Besides, Shia LaBoeuf is perfectly capable of doing humour himself--forcing him to be the straight guy is as big a waste as pitting Devastator against Team Goofball.

My favourite part of the movie? Jetfire's activation through to going to Egypt. Not because I thought it was particularly cool, but because there was a bit of humour, a bit of action, and the story (remember that?) was progressing--really, truly getting somewhere. To top it all off, I even knew who everybody in those scenes was (although I was a bit bemused by how the twins and Bumblebee showed up last minute to get teleported).

Anyway, rundown of character stuff:

Soundwave as a satellite? What a brilliant idea. It left him being very remote from the action, but it was a great way to use him.

The Fallen: Where did this guy come from? Is he a new to the movie concept, or is he from previous canon? At any rate, it seemed a bit weird for Megatron to be serving him without any obvious motivation (unless I missed something). And exactly why could only a Prime defeat him? Even if there was some mystical reason, couldn't Ironhide, Arcee and all the other guys who never got named at least tried to take him on? Or they could have used that gun they did with Devastator a few more times? Ah, railroad plot.

Megatron: Reactivating him seemed pretty easy all things considered. Remind me why they couldn't do this with Jazz again? Mind you, he didn't seem to make a full recovery. He appeared to be a lot easier to defeat this time around.

Which is a bigger step backwards for female TFs? Arcee as all three of Charlie's Angels or the Decepticon Pretender? I am glad that they opted for no explanation for TF gender (it just is!). And, as others have noted, the way Arcee moved in robot forms was very groovy.

On the same lines, Mikaela was just as gratuitously filmed as last time around. However, overall, I liked the character better. Less attention paid to Tragic Past and more to actual personality. And while she had a badass moment, it was against Wheelie, so it was believably badass. Still reduced to holding Sam's hand in the main event though, which was a pity.

Wheelie: only good comic relief character, although he certainly had his grating moments. But a Decepticon defector is a nice spin on the character, and he did at least serve a purpose plotwise (and while his disappearance once he had served his purpose was dumb, it was preferable to the way the rest of the comic relief hung around).

Ravage: Cool. Shame he died.

Scorponok cameo: I kind of expected that to have more impact.

Starscream: nothing to do plot-wise, but he was a good characterisation accessory for Megatron, who otherwise would have been nothing more than a hired thug.

Optimus Prime: Died and resurrected? Check. Weighty but ultimately meaningless dialogue? Check. Big powerhouse in battle who is only unleashed at the last moment despite the fact that the others inexplicably can't win a fight without him? Check. Same as usual then.

Witwickies: Overused at the start, and I wasn't sure if I liked them knowing about the Autobots, but their inclusion at the end worked well for me--plus it did actually give the mother some redemption from idiocy.

Matrix: it's kind of nice to see this return to the canon as the Matrix of Leadership, even if the explanation behind it is a bit weird--it's a key? It seemed a bit more logical for it to be the leadership mcguffin when it contained the wisdom of past Autobots, but groovy design and I like the idea that it has to be earned. Even if that did give me a headexploding moment when I thought we were going to have Samus Prime.

Sam: I'm pretty sure that if somebody gets killed in an explosion, a defibrillator isn't going to resurrect them--at least not in any functional state. Maybe the Matrix is just that good?

Bumblebee: While he served a functional purpose in most of his scenes, he was more of a prop than a character. I'd have liked to see more of a story arc for him; seems a shame that he's reduced to just being a car.

Jetfire: The 'bollocks' was gratuitous, but I enjoyed him. Seriously though, they activated him first and checked his faction second? Did they really assume that Wheelie would first direct them to an Autobot? Nice use of 'seeker' though.

And others. On the whole, I was pretty disappointed, even though I'd set my expectations low. The main problem was that the story was overwhelmed with action and jokes. I know that summer blockbusters traditionally use action and jokes to hide the lack of plot, but this one well and truly drowned what plot it had. There was far too much stopping for the next bit of 'fun'.